tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33303639249002252952024-02-21T08:58:54.544-08:00My Goat is Missingif you find it, tag itPeter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.comBlogger504125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-41957356022162539182016-08-10T07:01:00.001-07:002016-08-10T11:16:44.469-07:00Don't upset a lion<br />
Whatever else you do<br />
It just might bite your head off<br />
And then what will you do?<br />
<br />
Be nice to every lion<br />
Just smile and wish it well<br />
And then when you have passed it<br />
Be sure to run like hell!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-12693077935887147102016-02-03T00:35:00.000-08:002016-02-03T00:35:14.729-08:00An Epithet for a Greyhound?A Dachshund.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-90844684924083536012014-11-10T13:31:00.000-08:002014-11-10T13:31:21.478-08:00I ordered an Orange SquashSo the barman served me a pumpkin.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-14465440779987535252014-09-16T04:41:00.001-07:002014-09-16T04:45:33.639-07:00<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">The bee is such a complex creature</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">With complexity in every feature.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Surely we can do much better</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Than name it after a single letter.</span></div>
Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-52625005479463791252014-09-11T03:24:00.000-07:002014-09-11T03:24:12.164-07:00Pinocchio PoliticsWith every lie, the nose grows longer. Then, on the18th September, the big face-off.<br />
Let's cut off our nose to spite our face.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-48712771855587284172014-06-02T09:05:00.000-07:002014-06-02T09:06:02.342-07:00It can get quite messy!<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I hold in awe the humble egg.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I admire its versatility.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I'd even get on my knees to beg</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">If I didn't have the egg's fragility.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">You must admit the simple egg is really quite impressive,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12pt;">But don't forget it can all go wrong if you try to get too possessive.</span>Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-74907800889935691612014-05-30T08:21:00.000-07:002014-05-30T08:21:02.207-07:00A blue Doo!A pigeon sat upon my hat<br />
It's efforts I had thwarted<br />
I'd stuck a plug where the sun don't shine<br />
So the poo of the doo was aborted.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-42445467482383214532014-05-30T02:01:00.000-07:002014-05-30T02:01:10.100-07:00Peddling piffle!I'm prone to getting on my bike,<br />
But am not prone when upon it.<br />
I then pedal with all my might,<br />
Until I'm prone. Doggone it!Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-48719160912183936552014-05-30T01:45:00.001-07:002014-05-30T01:45:20.077-07:00A debt break?The banks are always losing money<br />
The country's in a mess<br />
Let's have more bank holidays<br />
So our debts will then be less.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-74895731032858239612013-12-05T16:31:00.002-08:002013-12-05T16:31:20.548-08:00NELSON MANDELA. DEPARTHEID.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-14275492343640823362013-11-27T00:00:00.000-08:002013-11-27T00:00:59.851-08:00in-DEEP-END-ence?Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-4376930853040622292013-11-19T05:10:00.002-08:002013-11-19T12:09:23.588-08:00Proscribed or prescribed?Were the Ten Commandments the world's first anti inflammatory tablets...or the precise opposite?Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-57576044851694168412013-05-08T12:56:00.001-07:002013-05-08T12:56:50.436-07:00Symmetry in a cemeteryHas it ever struck you - the symmetry in a cemetery?<br />
Are we really so obsessed with what is on the other 'side'?Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-84422977713295698352013-01-28T03:56:00.000-08:002013-01-28T03:56:14.496-08:00If there is a greater expression of derision than silence......keep quiet about it.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-12491968425446909062012-12-22T23:14:00.000-08:002012-12-22T23:14:00.742-08:00Peeping Tom found at AbbeyHe was staring into the Abess.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-7659156058167665092012-12-04T04:58:00.000-08:002012-12-04T04:58:58.380-08:00The difference between oppose and reposeOppose: to sit on the opposition benches in the House of Commons.<br />
Repose: to sit on any bench in the House of Lords.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-6041307324773944342012-12-03T05:06:00.000-08:002012-12-03T05:06:37.254-08:00Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far awayToday I must look through my binoculars the correct way.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-85175346871384237112011-09-28T02:00:00.001-07:002011-09-28T02:00:10.491-07:00I was the most outstanding pupil in my schoolI was out standing in the corridor almost every day.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-73533105711767947872011-07-19T12:00:00.000-07:002011-07-19T12:03:29.253-07:00From Scotland Yard to the farmyard, there's a certain whiff1. rank: a position within a fixed heirarchy. For example, in the Metropolitan Police.<br />
2. rank: having a foul smell. For example, in the Metropolitan Police.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-16036111225668545132011-07-19T11:44:00.000-07:002011-07-19T11:44:10.893-07:00Hello! Hello! Hello! said the MP to the MP to the MPThe Member of Parliament to the Murdoch Press to the Metropolitan Police.<br />
The permutations are endless.<br />
Three in a bed is never healthy. You don't know where to turn.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-55198879480493115382011-06-21T07:51:00.001-07:002011-06-21T07:51:44.438-07:00An apology. My editor didn't die.It was a coma. Not a full stop.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-56910606108780936262011-06-19T10:41:00.000-07:002011-06-19T10:41:09.353-07:00My editor died. An obituary.To cut a long story short...Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-21011721728693798762011-06-06T04:45:00.001-07:002011-06-06T14:03:55.554-07:00Eats shoots and leavesOr maybe that should read 'Eats shoots and departs' as has happened to a number of diners at Lübeck's Kartoffelkeller.<br />
The new strain of E.coli that has done for 22 of their guests so far is second only in virulence to the rumours that abound as to its precise source.<br />
Having originally pointed the finger at Spanish cucumbers, it now seems that it might well have emanated from Germany's own homegrown bean sprouts.<br />
All of which leads me to think that the best health food of all is the mighty chip where such unwelcome bacteria are incinerated into oblivion.<br />
God forbid that Germany ever starts another world war.<br />
With bean sprouts as part of their newly found armoury, when it comes to winning wars, at long last blighty might well have had its chips.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-28934971970995550592011-06-03T04:21:00.001-07:002011-06-03T04:21:27.234-07:00His own personal FifaDomBloater (noun) def. : A herring partially dried in smoke.<br />
Note: not to be confused with a Blatter although there is certainly something very fishy about both.<br />
Etymology of Blatter: from the state of being bloated. Puffed up through over-indulgence. Tendency to gormandize as in "FIFA-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman".<br />
Look out English FA. You've been warned. Maybe even slightly warmed.<br />
Do I smell toast?Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3330363924900225295.post-54962102056330033582011-05-23T05:08:00.000-07:002011-05-23T05:35:27.372-07:00The embattled Minister and his embittered ex-wifeHad Chris Huhne been better versed in the classics, he would have done well to remember that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.<br />
As Essex police sit up and take notice of Huhne's Machiavellian efforts to offload his speeding points onto the licence of his former wife, it seems that they are not paying her any attention at all.<br />
Was she not also complicit in trying to pervert the course of justice?<br />
Either the police begin to show her some interest or they too could end up having to indulge in the taming of the shrew.Peter Baruffatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00501658701950322967noreply@blogger.com0