Tickets in hand, I’m off to Palm Beach, Florida.
And just in case you are thinking that I’ve had an attack of insouciance with regards to my carbon footprint, let me assure you, I am losing a lot of sleep over it.
But don’t worry, I intend to offset it against jet lag.
What’s more, as with most eco-warriors, I’ll make a lot of petty gestures that purport to save the planet while also making me feel good about myself.
First of all, I don’t intend to worry about the flight. No worries, no wind. But if things do go awry, I’ll do my best to hold back until Florida. Then I can find somewhere quiet to release all that trapped wind and, believe me, it will not be quiet for long. (In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if nervous transatlantic passengers are the reason for the hurricane season. Please note, I resisted saying "the reason ’behind’ the hurricane season".)
Secondly, I’ll be on the lookout for any shenanigans such as fellow passengers trying to set fire to their underpants. That can't be good for the environment. Let’s hope that they are as badly ‘briefed’ as the last one.
Finally, if he or she (no profiling from me) isn’t badly briefed, I intend to have a proper eco-friendly burial.
With my undying (not the best word to choose) love of the environment, cremation is the last thing I need.
Of course it is.