Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Bob the Diamond Geezer

For the first time in over one hundred years, scientists have discovered a new creature living right in the centre of London.
It is not thought to share its DNA with any other species. In fact, it shares nothing.
It does, however, display a number of characteristics more normally associated with other animals.
While plainly not a bird, this creature does have a habit of shitting on people from a great height.
In the manner of a sloth, it sits around for most of its life while ant-like creatures, showing great industry, bring lots of deposits. It is not clear what these deposits constitute but they certainly serve to sustain and nourish this hitherto unknown animal. So much so that the pile it sits on grows higher and higher pushing it to the very top.
More thick-skinned than your average pachyderm, our new 'friend' seems impervious to all that goes on around it.
By all accounts, yes accounts, it seems to be a lifestyle that bears fruit - and lots of it.
Indeed, the pile even bears its own fruit tempting the creature to help itself while undoubtedly thinking "That's a bonus".

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