Friday 27 November 2009

How's this for a 'call'?

You’ve not caught me in a good mood.
I’ve just been on the phone to British Gas to register for the privilege of receiving accurate bills with their new Energy Smart initiative.
Privileged indeed!
But that is not what has set me off on this latest rant.
No.
This one is about that phenomenon that plagues all our lives now and again or, in my case, again and again.
Call waiting.
How often do you phone up some faceless organisation and are exhorted to press a combination of numbers on your telephone keypad that makes the odds of winning the National Lottery seem like a near certainty?
Then, when you eventually arrive at your chosen destination, you have to endure some mind-numbing music that really tests your will to live.
But that’s not what really gets me.
Nope.
Suddenly the music stops and we are then subjected to some pompous corporate message. “Did you know this and did you know that and did you know that British Gas have their heads so far up their own corporate ass that they can smell gas before anyone else?”
And it’s certainly not Nitrous Oxide because I don’t hear anyone laughing.
Let’s petition for a law whereby every company that keeps you waiting on their phones is legally bound to donate that dead time to rival companies to give them the opportunity to promote their own corporate message.
If nothing else, I suspect it would encourage all companies to process our calls a damn sight smarter than is the case at the moment.

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