Brown and his scorched earth policy

All going well, Gordon Brown will get out of bed on Friday morning, out of favour, out of luck and out of work.

In fact, he will have out-outed Mandy.

But Gordon is made of sterner stuff than that.

He is a son of the manse, you know.

Some might brand Gordon a liar.

Not me.

I would simply brand him GB and subsequently appoint him to head up the GB 2012 Olympic dream.

Because when it comes to embracing the Olympic ideal of "Faster, Stronger, Higher", Gordon Brown has a track record second to none.

Nobody has taken their country from boom to bust faster than Gordon.

Nobody has created a mountain of debt higher than Gordon.

And when it comes to the distinct whiff of scandal and utter ineptitude, nobody smells stronger than Gordon.

When Gordon gets dumped, Gordon gets angry. Very angry.

And what will be the nearest thing to him?

Yes, the Olympic torch.

We've all had our fingers burnt by Brown. Badly burnt.

Post-election, prepare to be frazzled.