Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Monkey business at RBS

If you truly believe in the concept of infinity, then you have to subscribe to the belief that a monkey equipped with a keyboard will eventually type out all of Shakespeare's plays. Word perfect.
That is assuming the monkey lives long enough!
Put a monkey in charge of RBS - formerly Right Bloody Shambles - and the probability of success will be much higher.
When Stephen Heister (I prefer that spelling) was appointed Chief Executive, he must have thought he had won the lottery, as indeed he did.
And he didn't even need to buy a ticket.
He took over a business with an endless stream of customers with nowhere else to go and who need to use services for which they have no option other than to pay.
And as if all that wasn't good enough, the taxpayer underwrites the lot.
So why then is Stephen Heister in line for a bumper £10 million pay package?
I'll tell you why. If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
It's a bit late now but that is the currency that we should have been dealing in.
Money saved. Job done.

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